"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is Light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 1John1:5-7
"So why did you become a nurse?" my friend asked me the other day over a cup of coffee. And by the tone in her voice as she asked, I knew I had once again revealed my kaleidoscope of feelings regarding nursing. Kaleidoscope. Yes...you know the thing you look through and you have to point it towards the light to see that there is a beautiful picture inside. An ever-changing picture, but colorful and beautiful when pointed in the right direction. Without light, however, there is no point to a kaleidoscope.
Grumbling in response to her question, I put my hands up and said I didn't know. Which was of course a lie. So I quickly caught myself, and gave her a real answer. An answer I don't normally give, but a true answer nonetheless. When I was in high school I remember reading about Jesus' life, and considered what it would mean to live a life like He did. Three things stood out to me from what I read: that in Jesus' life on earth, He taught, He preached, and He healed. So in the logic of my teenage mind, I figured we should aim to do the same. And a seed of interest was planted in my heart to someday be involved in medical missions.
The road to becoming a nurse was anything but smooth, and a couple of times I seriously wondered what I was doing, and how God was trying to direct me. I don't believe I received a "call" from the Lord to become a nurse. But while in nursing school, I did receive a promise that has proved to be true: that nursing would expand my heart, break my pride, and allow for more of God in my life. And His challenge to me at that time: to not choose darkness, but to keep my face to the Light.
I don't think we can always comprehend things the Lord speaks to us at the time He speaks them. The promises have proven true, as I have been stretched, humbled, and seen God in ways I never would have expected. In my experiences as a nurse, I have had the chance to see all the colors of life and death, of joy and fear, of pain and healing, of hope and of loss, of plenty and of need, of suffering and of relief. In retrospect, I can see that from the beginning, this path was never truly about being a nurse. It was about following a Person. And the challenge remains the same: to not focus on the darkness, but to lift it all up to be viewed in the Light of Christ. Sometimes I fail and only see the darkness. But by His grace, and without fail, each time I lift my face up and view things against the backdrop of His brightness, I hold in my hand a kaleidoscope through which I can see beauty that can only be seen because of His light. As our time in Liberia draws near, I can't help but wonder what will come next for me. This has been such a big step that God has finally allowed me to take, and I can't think that it is the last. Please pray that as He continues to guide, that I would follow with all my heart, in His steps, and not my own. Thank you for your faithful prayers, and for the Light of the Lord that you have helped to shine into my life through your friendship and support.
Grumbling in response to her question, I put my hands up and said I didn't know. Which was of course a lie. So I quickly caught myself, and gave her a real answer. An answer I don't normally give, but a true answer nonetheless. When I was in high school I remember reading about Jesus' life, and considered what it would mean to live a life like He did. Three things stood out to me from what I read: that in Jesus' life on earth, He taught, He preached, and He healed. So in the logic of my teenage mind, I figured we should aim to do the same. And a seed of interest was planted in my heart to someday be involved in medical missions.
The road to becoming a nurse was anything but smooth, and a couple of times I seriously wondered what I was doing, and how God was trying to direct me. I don't believe I received a "call" from the Lord to become a nurse. But while in nursing school, I did receive a promise that has proved to be true: that nursing would expand my heart, break my pride, and allow for more of God in my life. And His challenge to me at that time: to not choose darkness, but to keep my face to the Light.
I don't think we can always comprehend things the Lord speaks to us at the time He speaks them. The promises have proven true, as I have been stretched, humbled, and seen God in ways I never would have expected. In my experiences as a nurse, I have had the chance to see all the colors of life and death, of joy and fear, of pain and healing, of hope and of loss, of plenty and of need, of suffering and of relief. In retrospect, I can see that from the beginning, this path was never truly about being a nurse. It was about following a Person. And the challenge remains the same: to not focus on the darkness, but to lift it all up to be viewed in the Light of Christ. Sometimes I fail and only see the darkness. But by His grace, and without fail, each time I lift my face up and view things against the backdrop of His brightness, I hold in my hand a kaleidoscope through which I can see beauty that can only be seen because of His light. As our time in Liberia draws near, I can't help but wonder what will come next for me. This has been such a big step that God has finally allowed me to take, and I can't think that it is the last. Please pray that as He continues to guide, that I would follow with all my heart, in His steps, and not my own. Thank you for your faithful prayers, and for the Light of the Lord that you have helped to shine into my life through your friendship and support.
2 comments:
Hey Becks! Just sending you a quick note, I love ya! I am excited to see what the steps ahead hold for you. You are in my prayers friend. Payne :)
Yes. It is about following the Lord. And His call is His timing, His place, His purpose. Think of Joseph. His career goals didn't include being in a pit, getting sold into slavery, and landing in prison. But he remained faithful to God in all his circumstances. As you continue to seek, He will allow you to find. Daddy and I love you and will see you in 30 days! Hugs and prayers, Mama
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