Miller

Last Tuesday, I returned to work after our four day weekend adventure. My spirit felt renewed in many ways and I felt refreshed and ready to work again. My first shift back proved to be slightly more eventful than I would have thought, and in a different way than I would have thought. One of my patients that day was an 18 year old boy named Miller. He had undergone surgery to repair a hole in the roof of his mouth that had been caused by an infection. The means to repair this was for the surgeon to suture Miller's tongue to the top of his mouth, thus using his own tongue as a skin graft to the hole in the palate. After several weeks, the tongue would be released and sutured, and the hole would be covered over. Fascinating...and uncomfortable...and frustrating for Miller to not be able to communicate during this time.
I went to him to help him with his mouth care, as it is extremely important that He not get an infection in his mouth and it required diligent cleaning during this time. I had heard in report that day that he had also been struggling as his mom was recently admitted to a nearby local hospital, and was very sick. Arrangements were attempted to allow him to go visit her, but he had declined, saying he wanted to wait until his surgeries were over. When I approached him, I spoke to him and he turned his head away. I wasn't sure if he just didn't want to be bothered, as it is uncomfortable to do the mouth care. Then one of the patients behind me spoke to him, and he answered something I couldn't understand..but the other patient did. His mother had died that morning. Immediately my heart sank. Here was Miller, stuck on a strange hospital ship, all alone, tongue sutured to the top of his mouth, and his mother had just passed away. What do you say at a time like that?
The other patient came over and helped to "interpret" as Miller spoke in what just sounded like garbled words to me. Soon there was another, older patient sitting with us and then one of the interpreters joined us. Relieved to feel the support of others in the ward, surrounding Miller at this time, I listened as the translator spoke to Miller. And once again, my heart sank as I listened to what he was saying to him. "Be a man. Why are you crying...your mother is gone now. You will not see her again. You will go home, but she will not be there. So why do you cry? There is nothing you can do. So here is what you do, be a man. Be a man. Do not cry about it." Great. I felt like I was sitting with Job and his miserable friends and their lousy advice.
As moments before I had been relieved at the presence of these men, I was now relieved at their departure. I told Miller it was ok to cry. I told him that he should not be ashamed and that it was ok for him to be sad. Then I sat in silence there with him...at a total loss for what to say or whether I should say anything at all. He had a bible sitting by his bedstand, and I picked it up...wishing that I knew just where to look or where to go for a piece of comfort for this young man. I read some Psalms and some from Isaiah. Glancing up at him occasionally to try to discern if he wanted me to keep reading. He looked at me intently...listening. And I was reminded in my spirit that God's word does not return empty but accomplishes what He desires. My own words were useless at that moment, but God's words contain His power for comfort, for peace, for reassurance.
My mom gave me a Bible before I left home. And she also gave me an extra one, to give away while I was here. I hadn't thought too much about who it might be for, but I suddenly knew I should give it to Miller. I believe the enemy loves to monopolize on our circumstances, on our hardships, on our moments of utter weakness. But I believe even more strongly in God's promise to us, and one of His priceless gifts to us: that He is NEAR to the broken-hearted and that He SAVES those that are crushed in spirit.
Please pray for Miller with me....that God would meet him in amazing ways during this time of pain and distress. Pray that he would be protected from the enemy's lies and from despair. And that he would look to God's word to give him hope and peace and comfort during this time.

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17-18

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?....Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?....No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28, 35, 38-39