Africa 2007-2008

Healing Retreats and Courses~ USA

2009-07-25T12:41:00.000-07:00

Contact information

Ellel Ministries USA Florida

1708 English Acres Drive, Lithia, Florida, 33547, USA
Telephone : +1 (813) 737 4848
Fax : +1 (813) 737 9051
Email : usa@ellelministries.org

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Eccl. 3:11

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

Angels along the way...

2008-10-22T14:24:00.000-07:00

Amazingly, we never had to stay in a hotel or a hostel in our ten days of exploring England and Scotland... several generous friends and friends of friends opened their homes to us, and BLESSED us so much!! We got to reunite with Grace (above), a nurse friend from Mercy Ships who lives in Birmingham, and while we were at her place, several of the other girls from the Ship who live in the area came for dinner and we had a little reunion~! It was great to laugh and to tell stories, and just to feel so at home being around them again. I love you guys!

We also reconnected with my friend Rebekah, who was truly a God-send last year on my way through London. She is a friend of my friend Rachel from the Ship, but I am convinced God meant for our paths to cross and I am so glad we are friends now! Once again, she opened her home to us, ate greek food with us, and we laughed lots and got reconnected! THANKS Rebekah!!

Yea for Scotland!

2008-10-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

Hello London...and Karen and Heather!

2008-10-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

A warm welcome to London!

2008-10-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

It was such a blessing to be greeted by this beautiful face at the London Gatwick Airport!! Only true friends are willing to brave massive luggage-lugging trips together:). Most definitely could not have done it without you, HP :).

What He Has done

2008-10-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

This is the scripture that was on my pillow upon arriving at Ellel today. I can't read it without tearing up. This is what He has done for me.

"I'll go ahead of you, clearing and paving the road. I'll break down bronze city gates, smash padlocks, kick down barred entrances. I'll lead you to buried treasures, secret caches of valuables-- Confirmations that it is, in fact, I, God, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name."
Isaiah 45:2-3 (the message)

More than probably any other moment in my life, I feel aware of the way God has cleared for me. He has crushed fears, trampled lies, lifted burdens, broken chains, and cleared confusions. I think I am now being led to the treasure stores and my feet can't go fast enough. Yes, God, this is You!

ok, well...

2008-10-11T14:29:00.000-07:00

didn't sort out, but it lets me post now, despite big red warning signs. so we will proceed:).

Hello, .....hello?? is this thing still on? I have been the world's WORST blogger, but i am still hanging on by a thread, so I can't let this thing die.

The last few weeks have been nothing but a blur. I left Africa on October 1st. My last week in Africa was a whirlwind of packing, goodbyes, sweaty hugs, lots of closure and precious moments with friends from the ship and the girls at the orphanage and translators on the ward and dear life-long friends. There are too many emotions to try to capture, but I left feeling filled. Feeling loved. Feeling like I had loved the people God gave me and that the work I had been brought to do was complete. And that the work that God had done in me was beyond what I would have asked or imagined. He is Good. And while I so desired to be a part of God's gift of hope and healing to the beautiful people in Liberia, I left knowing I myself had received of the overflow. I have more hope. I myself have received healing. It's for all of us, I guess:)

I feel I have hardly had time to absorb all of that because I flew from Liberia straight to England where I was met by my two beautiful friends, Heather and Karen. What a provision to see familiar and much loved faces on the other end of that journey! So my whirlwind in Liberia just kept spinning as we touched down in England and spent the next 10 days trying to take as many trains as humanly possible around England and Scotland. (You girls are troopers!!!) What a gift to get to see some of the beautiful UK and to have that precious time with dear friends.

And today I find myself in Frensham, Farnham... about an hour train ride out of London. I am starting Term 1 of a (potentially) year long course in healing and discipleship ministry. The school is called NETS (Luke 9:11 training school) and it is offered through Ellel Ministries (ellelministries.org). I have many many friends who are "curious" what this is all about. So while I don't want to make any dashing blog promises, I do want to aim to share a bit of what I am learning. I am eager and anticipating that this is going to be rich and an amazing time to go deeper with God and His heart for bringing healing to the lives of His people. Wow. How blessed I am to be here.

OK...there it is. I love you all. And I really love you if you are still checking this abandoned blog. God bless you dear friends, all around the world. I can hardly comprehend how many precious people God has given to me to call 'friend' in this world...and the next:) May He bless and keep you.

this blog is experiencing

2008-10-11T14:27:00.000-07:00

technical difficulties, and i can't write more than one line. trying to sort out...

HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!

2008-09-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Dad!!!! I wish I could be there to CELEBRATE your birthday with you... but know that we are all celebrating here in Liberia!! You are amazing and I love you and thank God for you.... be so BLESSED today!!

I Heart the Guitar Club!!!!!!!

2008-09-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday, a group of friends gets together to play guitar and to worship together.... we have lately been growing in numbers!! But this week, we are losing two of our key members... Josh and Annie... Guitar club will never be the same. I love you guys. Thanks so much for the beautiful music (wink) and more importantly the beautiful friendships and most importantly for loving to worship our Great God.

Bendu is Back...

2008-09-01T19:12:00.000-07:00

Dr. Gary, our beloved maxillo-facial surgeon, is back on board after being away on holiday for a couple of months. Now that he is back, we are also having the joy of some of our patients returning for follow-up surgeries or procedures. And my dear Bendu is BACK.....

I heart Bendu.

A timely reminder...

2008-08-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

I just read this this morning... and then headed into work which seemed quite a bit like controlled chaos....minus the control. It kept coming to mind... definitely blog-worthy.

"Frustration is not the will of God. Of that we can be quite certain. There is time to do anything and everything that God wants us to do. Obedience fits smoothly into His given framework. One thing that most certainly will not fit into it is worry."

--E. Elliot

Amen.

Kossi is WALKING!!!!!!

2008-08-31T17:41:00.001-07:00

Pictures of my little buddy, Kossi, before his surgery a few months ago....

Picture of Kossi during the loooonnng healing process....

two long leg casts and a wheelchair...

Casts OFF!!!!!!!

And THIS WEEK...............................WALKING!!!!!!!!!

Social Committee Strikes Again....

2008-08-31T17:02:00.001-07:00

This post is really just for my mom:)... A couple months back, two of my friends, Karoline and Steph and myself joined forces to take over as the "social committee" for the ward nurses on the ship. Nurses are always coming and going here, and so it is really nice to plan a little get together every month or so, just so we can all have some time together away from work to get to know each other a bit more. Much to our surprise, our first two events have turned out even better than we thought... turns out our gifts work well together: Steph does about 80% of the baking... I do about 20% of the baking.... and Karoline pulls together all of the rest of the logistics (the part of the job that Steph and I hate....). Our first event was a coffee house night, and the second was a brunch.... So, Mom, here's some of the pics to give you a little idea:)...........

Bible Study Girls Visit Ship

2008-08-21T09:27:00.000-07:00

Yep, it is that time again:)... that time that seems to roll around every month or so, when I realize I have not blogged in WAY too long!! Sorry-o. I don't know how time passes so very quickly. Last month was full of so many special things... amongst them was a visit to the ship from our Bible Study girls. They came out on a Sunday afternoon and had a tour of the ship, saw our rooms, where we work, and stayed for dinner. They all came dressed in some of their nicest clothes and giggled and laughed their way through the whole afternoon. I think they really love to be on the ship with us and to see a bit of this world. What a blessing it has been to have these girls in our lives during this time. I love them so much. Here are some pictures from our time...

From S. Korea to Liberia... with love...

2008-08-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

Last month, a package arrived from my sister. In it there were some small cars and some other small toys to give to the kids on the hospital ward. It just happened that our census was down, and there were only three children in the hospital at the time, and they were three of my favorites~! So, I thought that these little boys would like the cars, but I had no idea just what a hit it would make. For the next few days, there were car races down the hallway, the construction of ramps and other things for the cars to go flying down, and all sorts of fun with the little cars. Two of the boys have now gone home, but Kossi is still here with us. And when I see him, he STILL says, "How is your sista?? Tell her tank you! I love the car." And he really does. He is always in his wheelchair, and the car is always tucked in beside him. A small gift has gone a very long way...:) Thank you to my nieces Ella and Maija, and Caleb for sharing your toys, and thank you to my sister, Julie, who now has a big fan in Liberia:)!!!

Prince and Kossi

James, Prince, and Kossi with their cars!

O PRAISE Him...

2008-08-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

Today I went to a dress ceremony on the ward. I have been working with our patients who have come to have fistula repairs that cause them to leak urine. The hope is that the surgery will result in these ladies no longer leaking urine. And when the surgery is a success, we have a celebration! I love these women. And my heart swelled today as I watched five of them... five women who have lived with embarrassment, with shame, with ridicule, with separation from family and friends... today stand and give their testimony of HEALING.... One of them had had this problem for 21 years. I cannot comprehend. Our God has done a most precious and intimate thing for these women. So today I stand in awe of a God who is committed to our healing. His timing is different than ours... but He does not give up on us. He is patient beyond our understanding. He is UNDERSTANDING beyond our understanding. Today I am reminded that He DOES heal. He will HEAL. Wait for Him. Be strong, and take heart, and WAIT FOR THE LORD...

Mbinty

2008-07-18T18:14:00.001-07:00

These pictures are old... but had to add them.

Just because she is so darn cute!

It's 4 AM...

2008-07-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

And I am blogging about all my secrets.

Last year when I was in Africa, I tried to blog weekly. This year, I am barely making it a monthly event, much to my dismay. So when I finally get around to blogging, (usually in the wee hours of the night) it turns into a blogging spree of sorts.

I went on a small holiday a couple weeks ago with my friend, Karoline. We got off the ship for five whole days and stayed across town at the home of a friend who lives near the beach. We did a whole lot of nothing, and it was fabulous. We ate, and sat, and read, and talked, and walked on the beach, and napped.

Sometimes you need a vacation after a vacation. But this vacation was truly restful, and so I came back to the ship more rejuvenated than I would have even imagined. It is amazing what a time of rest can do!

"Godliness with contentment is great gain..."

How often in life do we really feel content? When Paul wrote of learning the "secret of being content in all circumstances," I wonder what he meant? I wonder if I am learning the secret, at least in part... Learning to be filled and satisfied by Christ alone. Learning to look to Him in all things. Learning that He gives richly of Himself. Learning that His grace is sufficient. Learning that if I am filled completely by Him, that the rest is just overflow.

Perhaps this is life abundantly? To always be filled, and to quite often be overflowing....

"Not that I have already obtained all of this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me..."

There is a secret to that whole "life abundantly" that Christ spoke about when He walked on this earth. Surely He saw the pain. Surely he knew suffering. And yet He spoke about life in abundance. An abundance, that evidently sorrow doesn't deplete. An abundance that evidently doesn't depend on things turning out right all the time. Life from a Source that doesn't run dry. Life that even death can't steal away. Christ came, He lived, He suffered...He died. And so, what "life" did he mean... if that is what His life on earth was like?

And as we face suffering, and pain, and poverty and loss here... how do we point to a God who is Good? How do we, with sincerity, testify of a God who is loving? Perhaps part of the secret is in the pain. Perhaps, God, in His infinite wisdom knows that we will never look up, if we are never in need. So while I do not believe He sends the pain, perhaps He does allow it. And He meets us there. In death. In pain. In loss. In disappointment.

At the end of ourselves, stands the cross.

And a Savior.

He died, and so we must too. But He rose. "The thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy, but I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly." And so life is available to us, as well. So look for Him there. Where there is lack, where there is loss, where there is a void. Please know there is One... and only One... who can meet you there.

His name is Jesus.

He lived, He suffered, He died. He rose, He lives, He knows... you. He loves you.

"The Lord confides in those who fear Him..."

There is a secret to contentment. There is a secret to life in abundance.

And those the Lord loves are let in on the secret.

He is the secret.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Receiving Rain

2008-07-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

“It is a Spiritual rain that this song is singing about,” Cynthia, one of our ward translators, said to me.

Every Sunday, we gather in one of the hospital wards for church. Patients, medical staff, translators, and anyone from the ship who wants to attend can come. The ward was clearing out now after church, but the singing continued on:

“It is raining, all around me....”

I have a plant back at home. I left it with my mom when I left for Africa last fall. It was a smaller plant, with cactus-like qualities. Cactus-like in the sense of not needing much watering or tending to. The perfect plant for me... I had kept it alive for two years already. I was gone for about four months in total when I came back home and back to a house plant I hardly recognized. Its thick round leaves were plump and green. The plant overall was taller, which I found near miraculous since I don't think it had changed in height the entire two years that I had cared for it. And here, just a few months had gone by, and it looked so... different. So healthy. So green.

Clearly the plant did nothing different to itself in those few months. Except receive the “rain” that was showered upon it (courtesy of mom and a watering can). It took in what was poured out upon it. The result? More life. Fuller life. Health. Growth.

When Cynthia made a point to tell me this song was about a Spiritual rain, I couldn't help but appreciate the picture that it gave me. I thought of my little plant. And I thought of my heart. My plant received what was given to it, and it grew. I sense a pouring out from the Lord right now... here in Liberia... in the heart of rainy season. A Spiritual rain.

The way I see it, there is a lot of sowing, a lot of reaping, and a lot of roots in the soil of our hearts.

What will we plant?

What will we uproot?

And maybe, most importantly ... will we receive the rain?

It is raining

all around me

I can feel it

It's a lot of rain

I asked Jesus to send us more rain

Until we are filled

With a lot of rain

“For the soil which has drunk the rain that repeatedly falls upon it and produces vegetation useful to those for whose benefit it is cultivated and partakes of a blessing from God. But if [that same soil] persistently bears thorns and thistles, it is considered worthless and near to being cursed, whose end is to be burned.” Hebrews 6:7-8

You Are Not Alone

2008-07-16T20:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life has themes. I find myself saying a couple of phrases lately.

To my patients: "Don't be afraid."

To some of my crew mates, a different phrase: "You are not alone."

People have said these things to me before when I really needed to hear them. Jesus said them to people a lot.

We need to hear them, because they are true, and we need to speak and hear the truth from each other.

So if you need to hear today that you don't need to fear, and that you are truly not alone, here is one of my favorite reminders...

You Are Not Alone

Sometimes you get so weary

You run to forget

Keep yourself so busy

Anything to cover up that

Sometimes life just don't make sense

And the reason for your running

Is a longing to be known

Someone who says your life is worth it

Someone captured by your heart

Someone you gave up on long ago

You are not alone

His love is all around

And He holds you even now

You are not alone

He will not leave you orphaned

That's a promise He has made

When others leave you empty

When the world has left you broken

Still He will not walk away

So come and lay down all your questions

Lay down your striving to be free

He has loved you since you've breathed

He will love you for forever

Really what more do you need

--Kate Hurley

**Picture by Alirae:). Steph, thank you for sharing truth with me. Let's keep standing.

Fear not...

2008-06-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

But now thus saith the Lord

that created thee...

and he that formed thee...

Fear not: for I have redeemed thee,

I have called thee by thy name;

thou art mine.

When thou passest through the waters,

I will be with thee;

and through the rivers,

they shall not overflow thee...

from Isaiah 43

To Stand

2008-06-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

I just heard from my cousin who is in Hawaii on vacation right now. I got to go there last year with her and it was amazing!! We went boogie boarding, which was great. But I got pretty beat up. Just didn't quite get the timing right. Timing, evidently, is important in boogie boarding.

When I got back to Liberia, I went to the beach with some friends. The waves were bigger than I remembered them being last year when I was here. I didn't have a boogie board, but thought body surfing sounded like a good idea. Once again, I got pummeled.

After one particularly big wave knocked my feet right out from under me and sucked me under in a crazy swirling pull, I found myself flailing rather wildly... When my head finally came up from the depths I took in a big gasping breath. OK, and I was still flailing. When suddenly my hand hit something. It was sand. Oh. It was sand. I paddled to get my feet underneath me and I stood up. I was in about three feet of water.

So I can't get the picture out of my mind. Because in the end, I felt quite ridiculous. Here I was flailing, and gasping, and all I had to do... was stand up. And what I feel like is more amazing is that I could relate this to my life. I got hit by a wave. Or two. And got my feet knocked out from under me. And I have been flailing and gasping... for about six years.

And recently when I felt the swell of another wave, I perceived a still small voice.

It whispered, "Child, stand up."

And I did.

And found beneath my feet, not sand. But a Rock.

And the waves suddenly did not hold the same power that they had just moments before.

It felt good to stand.

Acan and Sirus! Pictures by Ali (Alirae.net) :)

2008-06-19T04:11:00.000-07:00

Deliverance

2008-05-27T07:08:00.000-07:00

But do thou for me, O God the Lord, for thy name's sake:

because thy mercy is good,

deliver thou me, for I am poor and needy,

and my heart is wounded within me.

Psalm 109:21-22

He sent His WORD and HEALED them,

and delivered them from their destructions.

Psalm 107:20

Return unto thy rest, o my soul;

for the Lord has dealt bountifully with thee.

For thou has delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears,

and my feet from falling.

I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

Psalm 116:6-9

Oh that men would praise the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.

Psalm 107:8-9

Answered Prayers

2008-05-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, I sent out some prayer requests... and have recently been reflecting on some of those things and felt I should write a THANK YOU to those of you who have been praying. God has answered prayers... some in ways I wouldn't have expected, but that's how He does it, isn't it? Know that your prayers are powerful and effective, and that they have brought blessing into my life and the lives of people here in Liberia. Thank you for your ministry to us! So here is an update...

Prayer:

--the nursing shortage: please continue to pray for this! new nurses have arrived (a couple of them are my roomies, and they are wonderful!!) but June marks the 'six month' mark for this year and many people are heading home in June. So our staffing continues to be tight. Please pray that God would strengthen and encourage and keep our hearts strong in the midst of physical tiredness. And pray he would send more workers:).

Praise:

--a couple of weeks ago we had a "long weekend". Sometimes this doesn't mean a break for the nurses, as the hospital doesn't stop, even when the surgeries do. But this long weekend, the wards cleared out enough for lots of people to get some extra shifts off! This was a MUCH needed and well timed break. Thank you, Lord!!

Prayer:

--I think the middle of the outreach can be a time of exhaustion and potentially some discouragement on board. We are heading into rainy season as well, so our sunshine may be dwindling a bit. Please pray for endurance through the middle stretch:)

Praise:

--we have had a vision team on board the ship recently as well as other guests. as a result, we have received lots of amazing teaching and time of being ministered to by these pastors and teachers who have come to visit. Praise God for providing much needed encouragement and refocusing to the body here!

Prayer:

--our times at the orphanage have been blessed and have also had some trial and error in how we approach our relationships with the girls and our time of studying God's Word with them. Please pray that we would have wisdom in how to use the time we have with them, and please pray that we would be faithful to LOVE and to PRAY for them.

Praise:

--as I mentioned in the previous blog, God is growing our relationships with the girls at the orphanage and we have gotten some good time together! Praise Him for the gift of relationships and the privilege of getting to know some young women here on a deeper level!

Prayer:

--God is continuing to reveal so many things to my heart here. I get more and more convinced that He brought me here to minister to me, rather than to have me minister to others. But then, somehow, in ways beyond my understanding, it is not one thing or the other, but He works them all together, and that is beautiful. That is God. Please pray that I would know Him more and more... and I pray the same for you!

Praise:

--For greater peace, for clearer vision, for precious friendships, for meaningful work, for kindred spirits, for other cultures and different perspectives, for God's Truth that crosses cultures and perspectives, for time to be still and know that He is God. There is much to praise Him for!

Thank you for your prayers! It means so much more than you or I can even know:).

Sleepover at Mama Vic's

2008-05-26T11:36:00.000-07:00

Two weekends ago, my friends Sarah and Stephanie and I went to Mama Vic's (the orphanage in town where we have Bible study with some of the older teenage girls) to spend the night. We went with the girls to the local market and bought rice, potato greens, peppers, fish and oil and then returned to the orphanage for a little lesson in cooking Liberian food. When the food was ready, it was all put in the worlds biggest bowl, and we all sat around it and dove in! We ate, we got our hair platted, we listened to the never-ending chatter of the girls (teenagers are the same universally -- I am pretty convinced) and when it was time to go to bed, we all crammed into one room. Sarah, Stephanie, and I were given the bed while all the girls crammed themselves on the floor like sardines! It was a true slumber party:)

My love for these girls is growing, and after spending more time with them that weekend, I am starting to really see their varied and vibrant personalities coming out. They are lovely and I am blessed to have the opportunity to continue to get to know them and to walk alongside them for this season. Please pray for these young women... Mary, Alice, Annie, Annie, Jerline, Kortu, Betty, Regina, and Ruth. Pray that they would continue to walk with the Lord, and that His Spirit would really take hold in their hearts and continue to guide them into all Truth in their lives.

My sister is getting back from vacation...

2008-05-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

and if I don't blog soon, I'm going to be in trouble.

Speaking without a Voice

2008-05-02T03:23:00.000-07:00

When people go in for head and neck surgery, for any number of reasons, it is often necessary for them to have a feeding tube. It is placed in their nose, goes down through their esophagus, and into their stomach. This... for those that are unfamiliar... is an NG tube (a naso-gastric tube). Here on the Africa Mercy, the NG tubes are often placed in surgery, and are meant to stay in place for 7-10 days after surgery. They serve a couple of purposes. For one, it provides a way for the patient to receive adequate nutrition by allowing us to "feed" them through it for that week post-op. Second, it serves to protect any delicate suture lines that could potentially be damaged or infected by the person eating right away after their procedure.

So, why am I telling you this? Because this little tube means quite a bit to me as a nurse.

And the other day, one got clogged.

Enter Dennis: a dear patient who had just recently had extensive surgery to his neck. As a result of his surgery, he would no longer be able to speak (this was known), but he would have a much greater chance of living.

He was only a couple of days out from his surgery when I cared for him, and came on shift to receive the report that his NG tube was clogged. Hopeful, I entered the shift with great ambition to use whatever nursing tricks I had in my bag to attempt to unclog the tube. Eight hours later, I was nearly brought to tears in utter frustration. The tube was not to be unclogged, the patient was hungry, I had lost any sense of humor regarding the situation (doctors beware... :)).

So, the verdict was in. Dennis would have to fast for several days. The tube could not be replaced at the risk of damaging suture lines, and he could not eat normally for the same reason. So we would give him IV fluids and keep a close watch on his electrolyte balances.

Now, really, none of this is the important part of the story. But perhaps it is what made my heart go out to this patient initially, and then, in the days to come, I paid a little bit closer attention to this man and the very small glimpse I had into his life. A few days without food was really the least of Dennis's "problems". He could now no longer speak as a result of his illness and the necessary surgery to help increase the chances of his survival. In a few days Dennis would be able to eat. But he would still not have a voice.

At least not an audible one.

But as I watched Dennis, I saw him interacting with other patients. He was always looking out for them. If I couldn't understand what one was trying to say to me, I would follow their pleading gaze, as they looked across the way to Dennis. He would listen, and then write something on his pad of paper. He would show it to me, and enlighten me on what they were trying to say. Other times, I would respond to a loud "tap, tap, tap" ...I would look over to where Dennis sat, banging on the bed frame to get my attention. He then would point to a patient who needed some help.

The patient who didn't have a voice, perhaps spoke louder to my spirit than any of the others that week. They say that when one of your senses is taken from you, be it sight, or hearing, then your other senses must become more attuned in order to compensate for that loss. I saw this with Dennis and his voice. He could see. And he could hear. And that week, what struck me the most, was that he could speak. Not audibly, and perhaps that is what made it more poignant. He spoke though his actions, through his writing, through the patience and compassion that were evident on his face. Through his concern for the others that seemed to be above and beyond concern he had for himself.

I was reminded again in this situation of a God whose ways are different from our ways. What we see as a loss or a weakness or struggle in ourselves, is often a crack through which others can get a glimpse of something greater... of Someone greater. Second Corinthians 4 speaks to this: "Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us.... We always carry the death of Jesus in our body, so that Jesus' life may also be revealed in our mortal flesh." And again in chapter 12, where Christ speaks to Paul, and says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness." Paul responds by writing, "Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So because of Christ, I am pleased in weaknesses... for when I am weak, then I am strong."

As I look back on this week, I am thankful for the picture of Christ that I was able to see in one man. I will not forget the man without a voice who spoke to me of God's power perfected in weakness.

Choosing LIFE

2008-05-01T18:22:00.000-07:00

"This command that I give you today is certainly not too difficult or beyond your reach. It is not in heaven, so that you have to ask, 'Who will go up to heaven, get it for us, and proclaim it to us so that we may follow it?' And it is not across the sea, so that you have to ask, 'Who will cross the sea, get it for us, and proclaim it to us so that we may follow it?' But the message is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, so that you may follow it. See, today I have set before you life and prosperity, death and adversity. For I am commanding you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, statutes, and ordinances, so that you may live and multiply, and the Lord your God may bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you do not listen and you are led astray to bow down to other gods and worship them, I tell you today that you will certainly perish and will not live long in the land you are entering to possess across the Jordan. I call heaven and earth as witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose LIFE so that you and your descendants may live, love the Lord your God, obey Him, and remain faithful to Him. For He Himself is your life..."

Deuteronomy 30:11-20

Today is the first day of the 29th year of my life. And a new year always calls for at least three things: celebration, reflection, and the choosing of a theme for the year. I have had some help with this theme, and I think it is perfect. Choose Life. Synonymous with 'choose Christ.'
It is not a new theme, but it is my hope that in this coming year, I will grow to know these truths in a more pure and beautiful way. The truth that God Himself has put His Word in our hearts, and has given us the ability to speak it with our mouths. The truth that we have a choice. The truth that He offers us life. The truth that to love God is life.
"For He Himself is your life..."
This year, I want to choose Christ, and in that choice, to truly know life.

The song that is on my heart... (for KLF) :)

2008-04-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

Be My Guide

Be my guide, God of Abraham
Lead me by Your hand
You are strong and wise
I want to trust in You and in all I do
Bring You honour and praise

How I love You
Great and mighty King
You are faithful
Through the ages You never change

Be my guide in the dark of night
Set all fear to flight
You are hope and truth
I want to trust in You and in all I do
Bring You honour and praise

Be my guide for the road ahead
And should I feel misled
You are just and good
I want to trust in You and in all I do
Bring You honour and praise

-Brian Thiessen

Ode to Frances

2008-04-25T04:24:00.001-07:00

Today my roomate Frances is leaving. And I am sad. So this is my ode to Frances! Thank you so much for your joy, your contagious laughter, your amazing singing, your friendship and your beautiful heart for our Lord Jesus. You have blessed my life and the lives of so many here. And we will miss you. May God be your Guide in the road ahead... and may we meet again soon!

Bong Mines

2008-04-25T04:13:00.000-07:00

Some Prayer Requests

2008-04-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Time is going by so fast here... and I feel the need to update as there has been a serious lack of blogging happening! I am trying to get back in the groove:). Things are going well on the Africa Mercy, and there are some things we could really use your prayers for! So for those prayer warriors out there, THANK YOU, and here are a few specifics...

** We are extremely short staffed on nurses. Our new schedule is reflective of this. Please pray for more nurses to come (hint, hint.. nurse friends..) But for us here, please pray for endurance, joyful hearts, strength and stamina to do the work at hand and to do it well.

** We have many patients with bad infections. Pray that God would do some miraculous works in healing them physically. We have seen some miracles already.. lets keep praying for more!

** I am learning a new job as a charge nurse. Some of you have been praying (THANK YOU!) and I will be doing more of this role in the weeks to come. Please pray that I would be a quick learner and that God would guide me in this new position.

**God has opened a door for me to help with a Bible study at an orphanage in Monrovia each week. It is with a group of 8 teenage girls, and we are going to be studying the book of John. I am soooo excited for this opportunity... please pray that God would be present and glorified in these relationships that we are seeking to build with these precious girls! Our first meeting is this coming Wednesday.

** God has been teaching me PLENTY PLENTY (African way of saying A LOT) since I have been here! Pray that I would have a soft heart to all He wants to do in me and that I would know Him more in all of these things. What a great GOD we have!!

Thank you for your prayers, dear friends and family. I love you and thank God for you.

Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone cheerful? He should sing praises. Is anyone among you sick? He should call for the elders of the church, and they should pay over him... The prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.

The intense prayer of the righteous is very powerful.

James 5:13-16

Sadiatu

2008-04-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

This gorgeous little one was one of my patients I cared for on my first shift back on board the ship. Sadiatu is almost two years old and was brought to us by her mother because she had a protrusion from her forehead. It turns out that Sadiatu had an encephalocele, which is actually a neural tube defect where a portion of the brain protrudes through an opening in the skull. Back at home, these defects would be corrected through surgery when a child is an infant. Without surgery, Sadiatu would likely not have lived into adulthood. The week or so following surgery was difficult and painful... not just for Sadiatu, but for her tired and caring mother, who had to watch her child suffer... in pain, eyes swollen shut, made to go through multiple painful procedures.

And it was a reminder to me of patience in suffering. Because in this, as in many things in life, things actually looked worse before they looked better. And sweet little Sadiatu definitely looked much worse... and while it was only for a few days... to her and to her mother, it probably felt like much longer.

During these days that I cared for her, she would cry even at the sound of my voice. I could see the exhaustion on her mother's face and reminded her that she would continue to heal. That this was hard, but that it would pass and Sadiatu would return to herself. And even as I reassured her, I could not have been prepared for the transformation that would take place in the next few days. Imagine my surprise by the end of the week to have this little one giggling, toddling up to me, letting me hold her and laughing when I tickled her! Praise God for physical healing!

And praise God for His patience in our suffering. As a Father, He must feel great pain watching His children hurt... but He knows the end result. And so He is patient. As we walk through challenges and trials of many shapes and sizes. Because He loves us enough to allow temporary suffering for much more lasting joy. Perhaps in this context, it is easier to understand the exhortation in James 1: 2-4: "Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing."

May we have the courage to trust in our Great God, even when things may appear to be getting "worse" in our eyes. May we endure, may we allow the process, and by His grace, cooperate with Him in becoming mature and complete, lacking nothing. Praise Him for the work He did in Sadiatu's life! And praise Him for what He is doing in yours!

I Was Made For This...

2008-04-12T17:56:00.000-07:00

TO CLING

My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:8

TO SING

Sing to the LORD all the earth. Proclaim His salvation day after day. 1 Chronicles 16:23

TO WORK

Six days you shall labor and do all your work. Exodus 20:9

TO REST

...but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest. Exodus 34:21

TO BE AT PEACE

The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

TO WORSHIP

This is what the Lord says: Let my people go so that they may worship me. Exodus 8:1

TO LOVE

If I gave everything I had to the poor and even sacrificed my body, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:3

TO GIVE

You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion... 2 Corinthians 9:11

TO RECEIVE

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy adn find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

TO BE FREE

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Galations 5:1

TO BE

For in Him we live and move and have our being. Acts 17:28

Remember this sweet face??

2008-04-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

God is so very good in how He times things! You may remember Martlyn... who was a dear friend and one of our little patients from last fall in Liberia. And it just 'turned out' that she was readmitted this week for a follow up surgery... the very same week that I returned to the ship! Thank you, Lord, for the precious gift of a reunion with this darling girl!! Martlyn endured several very difficult surgeries last fall and several long months of recovery on our hospital ship. To see her back again, a little bundle of joy and laughter and smiles was an absolute delight to my heart. God has done great things in her life, and she is so FULL OF LIFE. She was discharged already today, and I was truly sad to see her go. But so very THANKFUL for her sweet familiar face to have been around this first week back in Liberia.

Big kiss!!

CONTACT INFO

2008-03-30T13:20:00.000-07:00

email:

bkweinz@hotmail.com

snail mail:

Becky Weinz

Mercy Ships/HCS Dept.

PO Box 2020

Garden Valley, TX 75771-2020

(no HEAVY packages, please:)...I get charged on this end to receive them!)

phone:

(954) 538-6110 Ext 3416

this is a satellite phone...it is like calling Florida from the US...not an out of country number:)

as for skype... I was sadly mistaken. No skype while I am on the ship. Sounds like there is an internet cafe in town, though, so we may have opportunity for a skype date in the future:)

Back to Africa!!!

2008-03-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

and back to the blogging extravaganza:). Well, not really...but that sounds exciting, doesn't it? I would imagine since I have been MIA on the blogging scene for quite awhile, I may have lost many of you, but I know there is a faithful remnant out there (mom...dad...? ...anyone...??) Well, to whom it may concern, I am back in Africa, on the Africa Mercy where it is ported in Monrovia, Liberia. I arrived last Wednesday to a very warm welcome (literally WARM... and welcome, too). It is hot in Africa. Hotter than I seem to remember, but I am not complaining.

I won't drone on and on, but a quick list of things I am thankful for:

thankful for this amazing opportunity to return to Liberia

thankful for my incredible family and friends supporting me at home (and around the world)

thankful for the kindred spirits on board this ship

thankful for dear beautiful Liberian friends

thankful for a great bunk in a great 6-berth cabin

thankful for a friend I can call at 4 am

thankful for Today

thankful for my most constant and faithful God

Just wanted to write and let you know I am here, I am safe, I am THANKFUL.

I love and miss you.

To be LOVED by God

2008-02-14T12:02:00.000-08:00

"In the end the Face which is the delight or the terror of the universe must be turned upon each of us either with one expression or with the other, either conferring glory inexpressible or inflicting shame that can never be cured or disguised. I read in a periodical the other day that the fundamental thing is how we think of God. By God Himself, it is not! How God thinks of us is not only more important, but infinitely more important. Indeed, how we think of Him is of no importance except insofar as it is related to how He thinks of us. It is written that we shall "stand before" Him, shall appear, shall be inspected. The promise of glory is the promise, almost incredible and only possible by the work of Chirist, that some of us, that any of us who really chooses, shall actually survive that examination, shall find approval, shall please God...to be a real ingredient in the Divine happiness...to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son--it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can hardly sustain. But so it is..."
--C.S. Lewis
"The Weight of Glory" in Screwtape Proposes a Toast

Christmas in S.Korea...why not?

2008-02-14T11:37:00.000-08:00

So, yes, it is FEBRUARY...and I am still "stuck in December" on my blog. So after this entry, we are officially going to fast-forward to present time...I just couldn't skip putting these ADORABLE pics of my nieces and nephew on here for the world to see!! For those of you who haven't seen these kiddos in awhile...Ella is now 4 and a half (ok..almost FIVE!)...Caleb 3 (!!!!) ...and baby Maija 9 months old! Thanks Dr. Dave, and Jules for an amazing Christmas in Korea!

Thank you, God, for my precious family.

Shameless self-portraits from London lay-over

2008-02-05T15:31:00.001-08:00

A glimpse from the sail...

2008-02-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

From Liberia to the Canaries

Let's be honest....

2007-12-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

So I knew when I signed up to work with Mercy Ships for three months that I was also signing up for what I am going through now....transition! Ah, everyone's favorite thing. And for those friends and family that have had to bear with me these last few days, I say thank you and I also say I'm sorry! :) Well, you all know I am crazy anyway. But I thank you for your great patience and your prayers. They are being answered, as at least a bit of perspective has re-entered the world of my mind and I am more at peace than I was a couple of days ago. The phrase "waves of transition" has appeared in more than one of my emails home to you, and it seems to be the most appropriate, as there have indeed been ups, and there have indeed been downs. As many of you have reminded me, this is probably quite"normal", but in the words of my Uncle Tom "what's normal??" Great question!
Three months is short, but it was also long enough to experience a part of my heart's desire being fulfilled, and also long enough to increase my hunger for more. I laugh, thinking of the "step of faith" it seemed to take to get here, and now it is seeming to require a "step of faith" to return home. In some ways returning home feels like I am leaving a piece of my heart behind, while at the same time returning home reconnects me with my precious and treasured family and friends in Seattle. Really I am not in a place to be distressed! :) But tell my heart that!
I hesitate to put this on my blog, probably mostly because it is a little raw and really undefined and probably not the most well-articulated thoughts on the planet. But I guess I write it to ask that you would pray for me. Nothing huge or crazy but simply that I would REST in the Lord, that I would know that my treasure is really in Him, and He happens to be be everywhere:), and that I would, once again, remember that HE is God, and that nothing is too big....or too small for Him.
Tomorrow we will arrive at the Canary Islands, and Monday I fly out! I will be with my sister's family in South Korea for 2 weeks over Christmas, and mom and dad will be there too!!!!!!!! I can hardly wait! All that to say, there are still some more pictures I would like to try to get on the blog in these next few days, so we will see! The sail has been GORGEOUS and only a little bit nauseating at times:)...I am afraid any pictures I have won't do this justice.
I am eagerly anticipating reconnecting with you, my dear friends in the next few weeks. Thank you for your prayers, your emails, your notes, your faithful blog-reading! How did I get so blessed to have you all in my life?! God bless you today....and stay tuned:):)

Ward nurses hit the town!

2007-12-02T14:03:00.001-08:00

The Friday after the ward closed down, the remaining nurses on board went out for a celebration dinner. Some friends pictured above: Melanie, Meg, Me, Vera, Elaine. :)

Goodbyes and Goodbye Parties!!

2007-12-02T13:36:00.000-08:00

We all got decked out in our African Finest (or for some of us...the only 'African' clothes we have...) to celebrate and say farewell to our translators the week before we left. Here are a couple of ladies that I had especially enjoyed working with...Musu (blue) and Esther (white).

Marthlyn

2007-12-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

Before her surgery...

And three surgeries later...

Before and After...A Couple of Special Patients

2007-12-02T13:03:00.000-08:00

CYRUS~ Before his surgery... healing...and after....

Bon Voyage!!

2007-11-30T03:43:00.000-08:00

WE LEFT LIBERIA TODAY!!! wow!! it is hard to believe. I was sitting about to post a blog this morning at about 11:45...our estimated departure time was noon...and admittedly I did not anticipate that we would be on time :) hee hee..but we were!! so now this is the post-departure blog.
These past couple of weeks have been full of good-bye's, good-bye parties, the ward clearing out, patients going home, packing, cleaning, securing, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Yep. Lot's o cleaning. And in the midst of it all, was a scary few days where a good friend of mine became ill with malaria. I mass emailed many of you, but am sure that it was not all-inclusive, as I was in quite a rush. But I again thank you for the many prayers on behalf of my friend, and she is now safely in Germany being cared for there, and all reports sound as though she is making improvements. Praise God for that!
So, we are SAILING!! or rather rocking....rocking rocking rocking. If I thought this ship rocked while we were in port...well, I had another thing coming. We all look like a bunch of drunken sailors walking around here as the ship maintains its constant back and forth motion!! Pray we don't all get sea sick!
IF I am spared from too much motion sickness, I really do hope to catch up a bit on some blogging, and post some pictures from the last couple of weeks. I am sad I have not had more time to keep up with it all, and I hope I can make up for it a bit in the next few days!!
I hope you are all well, and I am so excited to reconnect with many of you in this next month!! God bless and keep you all!

THE DRESS...

2007-11-17T18:26:00.000-08:00

So, really I had this dress made the first month I was here (don't be deceived by the recent blog regarding the trip to the tailor...that trip was quite awhile ago...it has just taken me this long to become good at getting pics on the blog) But last Sunday was truly the first time I wore the dress in public. Try not to laugh at the WHITE woman in the Liberian church. Nope, no blending in here...even with the African dress. These are my friends, Nadine (green) and Mary Lou (white)...and they are wonderful. The picture is from the church Mary Lou attends regularly, and I have been there twice during my time here. It is called Bethel Sanctuary of Praise.

Sometimes by Steps

2007-11-17T18:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the night was beautiful
Sometimes the sky was so far away
Sometimes it seemed to stoop so close

You could touch it but your heart would break

Sometimes the morning came too soon

Sometimes the day could be so hot

There was so much work left to do

But so much You'd already done

Oh God, You are my God

And I will ever praise You

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You

I will seek You in the morning

And I will learn to walk in Your ways

And step by step You'll lead me

And I will follow You all of my days

Sometimes I think of Abraham

How one star he saw had been lit for me

He was a stranger in this land
And I am that, no less than he

And on this road to righteousness

Sometimes the climb can be so steep

I may falter in my steps

But never beyond Your reach

Oh God, You are my God

And I will ever praise You

Oh God, You are my God

And I will ever praise You

I will seek You in the morning

And I will learn to walk in Your ways

And step by step You'll lead me

And I will follow You all of my days

--Rich Mullins

I love this face!!!

2007-11-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

You can't help but have favorites sometimes. Here's one of mine. Do you blame me? This is Mohammed. Arguably one of the cutest two year olds on the planet.

True Colors

2007-11-15T17:08:00.000-08:00

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is Light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 1John1:5-7

"So why did you become a nurse?" my friend asked me the other day over a cup of coffee. And by the tone in her voice as she asked, I knew I had once again revealed my kaleidoscope of feelings regarding nursing. Kaleidoscope. Yes...you know the thing you look through and you have to point it towards the light to see that there is a beautiful picture inside. An ever-changing picture, but colorful and beautiful when pointed in the right direction. Without light, however, there is no point to a kaleidoscope.

Grumbling in response to her question, I put my hands up and said I didn't know. Which was of course a lie. So I quickly caught myself, and gave her a real answer. An answer I don't normally give, but a true answer nonetheless. When I was in high school I remember reading about Jesus' life, and considered what it would mean to live a life like He did. Three things stood out to me from what I read: that in Jesus' life on earth, He taught, He preached, and He healed. So in the logic of my teenage mind, I figured we should aim to do the same. And a seed of interest was planted in my heart to someday be involved in medical missions.

The road to becoming a nurse was anything but smooth, and a couple of times I seriously wondered what I was doing, and how God was trying to direct me. I don't believe I received a "call" from the Lord to become a nurse. But while in nursing school, I did receive a promise that has proved to be true: that nursing would expand my heart, break my pride, and allow for more of God in my life. And His challenge to me at that time: to not choose darkness, but to keep my face to the Light.

I don't think we can always comprehend things the Lord speaks to us at the time He speaks them. The promises have proven true, as I have been stretched, humbled, and seen God in ways I never would have expected. In my experiences as a nurse, I have had the chance to see all the colors of life and death, of joy and fear, of pain and healing, of hope and of loss, of plenty and of need, of suffering and of relief. In retrospect, I can see that from the beginning, this path was never truly about being a nurse. It was about following a Person. And the challenge remains the same: to not focus on the darkness, but to lift it all up to be viewed in the Light of Christ. Sometimes I fail and only see the darkness. But by His grace, and without fail, each time I lift my face up and view things against the backdrop of His brightness, I hold in my hand a kaleidoscope through which I can see beauty that can only be seen because of His light. As our time in Liberia draws near, I can't help but wonder what will come next for me. This has been such a big step that God has finally allowed me to take, and I can't think that it is the last. Please pray that as He continues to guide, that I would follow with all my heart, in His steps, and not my own. Thank you for your faithful prayers, and for the Light of the Lord that you have helped to shine into my life through your friendship and support.

Tamba

2007-11-10T17:41:00.000-08:00

A face this adorable should be seen by LOTS of people:). This is Tamba, and he was one of our much loved patients here last month. Tamba's family is from Sierra Leone, and after Tamba was born with a growth about the size of a large fist protruding from his face, they spent the next three months searching for help for him in their country to no avail. As it turns out, God had greater plans than just the healing of their son.

Tamba's parents ended up being connected with a land-based Mercy Ships ministry in Sierra Leone...from there, the arrangements were made for the family to come to the ship to be assessed for surgery. Tamba was approved, and underwent the eight-plus hour operation, and came through with flying colors.

As I came to see the family off before they were discharged from the hospital, I had the opportunity to meet the local pastor who had hosted this precious family while they were in Monrovia awaiting Tamba's surgery. As I spoke with him, he shared that before coming here to Liberia, Tamba's family had been Muslim. While staying with the pastor, they had the opportunity to hear about Jesus, and Tamba's father had accepted Christ as his Savior!

Please pray for this precious family as they are now back home in Sierra Leone. Pray that the seeds of faith planted would grow to be strong in their lives, and that the testimony of the healing of this little one would bear witness to God's exceeding goodness in their lives.

Tensions

2007-11-10T16:34:00.000-08:00

bullet holes and churches ~ rich and poor ~ broken cars and beat up roads ~ youth and labor ~ relief and enablement ~ hot (Africa) and cold (Mercy Ship's air conditioning) ~ gentle waves and powerful tides ~ short term service and long term commitment ~ hard work and laziness ~ passion and apathy ~ surface thoughts and deep desires ~ my way of serving and His way of providing ~ solitude and fellowship ~ mercy and integrity ~ generousity and empowering ~ fear and courage ~ shouting and singing ~ anxious thoughts and prayers that avail ~ tear-streaked cheeks and wide white smiles ~ human effort and Almighty power ~

In my opinion, whatever we may have to go through now is less than nothing compared with the magnificent future God has planned for us. The whole creation is on tiptoe to see the wonderful sight of the sons of God coming into their own. The world of creation cannot as yet see reality, not because it chooses to be blind, but because in God's purpose it has been so limited--yet it has been given hope. And the hope is that in the end the whole of created life will be rescued from the tyrrany of change and decay and have its share in that magnificent liberty which can only belong to the children of God!

It is plain to anyone with eyes to see that at t he present time all created life groans in a sort of universal travail. And it is plain, too, that we who have a foretaste of the Spirit are in a state of painful tension, while we wait for that redemption of our bodies which will mean that at last we have realized our full sonship in him.

Romans 8:18-23

Three weeks and counting...

2007-11-10T13:59:00.000-08:00

Is time going by as fast for all of you as it is for me:)? It is so hard to believe that it is November already! Time here has gone by so quickly, and now as we near the end of the outreach in Liberia, it only seems to be going faster. We are entering our last week of surgery this week and after that we will just be caring for the remaining patients onboard and preparing the ship for the upcoming sail.
The work here has continued to be for the most part a joy. When you are any place for any amount of time, you have your good days and your bad days. And yes, I will admit it, your boring days. So I have had all of the above. But I have loved this opportunity to be a part of this ministry for the past three months. One of my favorite parts of the day is when day shift is ending and evening shift comes on, we take the patients up to deck 7 on the ship so they can get some fresh air. I will try to get some of these pictures on here so you can have a glimpse of our beautiful patients....( and a glimpse of the FUN that happens on deck 7:))!
Please pray for us as we finish up in these next few weeks..that we would finish well, that the remaining surgeries would be blessed, and that God would be glorified in the work that is done in this place. THANK YOU dear friends....

The Market and a Trip to the Tailor

2007-11-06T10:00:00.000-08:00

Miller: Part Deux

2007-11-01T02:15:00.000-07:00

A little update on Miller. By what I believe was a little divine intervention, Miller was able to receive his surgery to release his tongue four days sooner than expected. I'll spare the details of the story, but it was a situation that initially looked to be bad, but in the end worked for good as Miller was able to receive his surgery and get a flight back home last Saturday. Just in time for his mother's memorial service on Sunday. In the midst of all his other concerns, Miller was distraught over his school fees being paid. When he received news about his mother, his fear was only increased as he then worried even more about his schooling. By the time he left, the Lord had provided the money for the remainder of his tuition. While he is still in the place of grieving his mother, Miller left the ship with greater hope than I had seen him with last week.
Please keep this young man in your prayers. That He would cling to the Lord. That he would trust Him to provide. And that he would be able to cry if he needs to sometimes.

"And my God will meet ALL your needs,
according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:19

The Most Beautiful Things

2007-10-30T04:38:00.000-07:00

Babies on backs~ African smiles~

Vibrant sunsets~ Sandy beaches

The color of women's dresses~

Kids being kids~

Laughter~

A quiet 'thank you'~

Prayers of faith~

Miracles...big and small~

Liberian handshakes~Flip flops~

Worship with drums~ Dancing in church~

Fish jumping~ Cool misty mornings~Voices singing~

Bodies healed~
Hope despite circumstances~

Spirits revived~

"Praise the Lord, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise His Holy Name.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits--

who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that yo ur youth is renewed like the eagle's. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed...The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love...."

Psalm 104

If I Stand

2007-10-30T03:03:00.000-07:00

There's more that rises

in the morning than the sun
And more that shines in the night

than just the moon
It's more than just this fire here

that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room
And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes for the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That You will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his Home

There's more that dances on the prairies than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean than the tide
There's a love that is fiercer

than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's

when her baby's at her side
And there's a loyalty that's deeper

than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes for the allegence
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his Home ---Rich Mullins

Miller

2007-10-25T04:33:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, I returned to work after our four day weekend adventure. My spirit felt renewed in many ways and I felt refreshed and ready to work again. My first shift back proved to be slightly more eventful than I would have thought, and in a different way than I would have thought. One of my patients that day was an 18 year old boy named Miller. He had undergone surgery to repair a hole in the roof of his mouth that had been caused by an infection. The means to repair this was for the surgeon to suture Miller's tongue to the top of his mouth, thus using his own tongue as a skin graft to the hole in the palate. After several weeks, the tongue would be released and sutured, and the hole would be covered over. Fascinating...and uncomfortable...and frustrating for Miller to not be able to communicate during this time.
I went to him to help him with his mouth care, as it is extremely important that He not get an infection in his mouth and it required diligent cleaning during this time. I had heard in report that day that he had also been struggling as his mom was recently admitted to a nearby local hospital, and was very sick. Arrangements were attempted to allow him to go visit her, but he had declined, saying he wanted to wait until his surgeries were over. When I approached him, I spoke to him and he turned his head away. I wasn't sure if he just didn't want to be bothered, as it is uncomfortable to do the mouth care. Then one of the patients behind me spoke to him, and he answered something I couldn't understand..but the other patient did. His mother had died that morning. Immediately my heart sank. Here was Miller, stuck on a strange hospital ship, all alone, tongue sutured to the top of his mouth, and his mother had just passed away. What do you say at a time like that?
The other patient came over and helped to "interpret" as Miller spoke in what just sounded like garbled words to me. Soon there was another, older patient sitting with us and then one of the interpreters joined us. Relieved to feel the support of others in the ward, surrounding Miller at this time, I listened as the translator spoke to Miller. And once again, my heart sank as I listened to what he was saying to him. "Be a man. Why are you crying...your mother is gone now. You will not see her again. You will go home, but she will not be there. So why do you cry? There is nothing you can do. So here is what you do, be a man. Be a man. Do not cry about it." Great. I felt like I was sitting with Job and his miserable friends and their lousy advice.
As moments before I had been relieved at the presence of these men, I was now relieved at their departure. I told Miller it was ok to cry. I told him that he should not be ashamed and that it was ok for him to be sad. Then I sat in silence there with him...at a total loss for what to say or whether I should say anything at all. He had a bible sitting by his bedstand, and I picked it up...wishing that I knew just where to look or where to go for a piece of comfort for this young man. I read some Psalms and some from Isaiah. Glancing up at him occasionally to try to discern if he wanted me to keep reading. He looked at me intently...listening. And I was reminded in my spirit that God's word does not return empty but accomplishes what He desires. My own words were useless at that moment, but God's words contain His power for comfort, for peace, for reassurance.
My mom gave me a Bible before I left home. And she also gave me an extra one, to give away while I was here. I hadn't thought too much about who it might be for, but I suddenly knew I should give it to Miller. I believe the enemy loves to monopolize on our circumstances, on our hardships, on our moments of utter weakness. But I believe even more strongly in God's promise to us, and one of His priceless gifts to us: that He is NEAR to the broken-hearted and that He SAVES those that are crushed in spirit.
Please pray for Miller with me....that God would meet him in amazing ways during this time of pain and distress. Pray that he would be protected from the enemy's lies and from despair. And that he would look to God's word to give him hope and peace and comfort during this time.

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:17-18

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?....Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?....No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28, 35, 38-39

My good friend, Meg Petock's top ten list from this past weekend...

2007-10-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

Monday, October 15, 2007
top ten things I never thought I'd experience in this lifetime that I experienced this weekend on my trip to Nimba Mountain

10. I never thought I'd ride in a van with no AC and 18 people, that would comfortably hold six Americans, for almost eight hours straight, after working night shift.
9. Watching a Brazilian biomedical technician carry the equivalent of a yard sale (including a guitar and four filled plastic shopping bags) up Liberia's tallest mountain (which is quite ardours climbing at times)
8. Thinking, "Well, if the lighting strikes my friends on the Mountain, at 2 AM, I suppose the UN helicopter might reach them (maybe)."
7. Crossing the border of a country that is not in North America without a passport, only a friendly Liberian border patrol man.
6. Being the centrepiece of a hand woven Liberian bag advertisement.
5. Going through at least thirty UN check points in less than 72 hours.
4. Riding through Africa in a small van with greater half of my body protruding out the window, while videotaping and/or taking photos of the experience.
3. Coming to a place in my life where I only brought UNMIL t-shirts on my vacation.
2. I never thought turning around could be such a beautiful experience.
1. I never thought I would sit in the back of a Liberian taxi at night singing a Kenny Rogers song with a retired eye surgeon, a Canadian plumber, a computer guy, and a fellow PICU nurse (aka "team turn around")

What happens when mercy shippers get a four-day weekend??....They go to AFRICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

In the former days of Mercy Ships, the outreaches lasted only 4 to 6 months in a port before heading off for fundraising and ship maintenance for several months. Now, the outreaches are stretching 6 to 8 months at a time in a country. Someone was really thinking and decided that this was a long intense stretch to go without getting a little break, and so they built into the schedule a couple of long weekends. This last weekend was one of them. Nurses never really qualify for these sorts of things anyway with our random schedules, but it just so happened that it was my weekend off. So thanks to a gracious fellow nurse, I was able to trade a shift and land all four days off as well!!! Thanks for the prayers for this ....we had had an intense couple of weeks before this with baby Joanna in the ICU, and I was just plain tired. Also there was a little trip I had the chance to be a part of. A group of twenty or so people from mercy ships schemed a trip across country to a place called Nimba Mountain...the highest mountain in Liberia. It sits at the eastern border of Liberia, where the country meets up with Guinea and Cote d' Ivoire.

We headed out last Friday with about 18 of us crammed into a 15passenger van, along with all our hiking and camping gear. This in itself started the adventure out on a very african note as we passed other vehicles and determined that we had successfully crammed our vehicle fuller than many of the other taxis and busses passing us. Only ours was mostly full of white people. A day and a half later, and a million funny stories later, we successfully arrived at Nimba Mountain.....and i could hear Rita Springer singing...."It's gonna be worth it!"
And it was! The view of Nimba was absolutely breathtaking, and after that long in the car, there were definitely mercy shippers frolicking all about .......... ! We hiked part way up the mountain and could see out over Guinea and Cote d' Ivoire and Liberia!

The majority of the group brought whatever camping gear they could scrape together in order to stay the night on the mountain. I could say I didn't stay because I didn't have the camping gear. But more truthfully, I didn't stay for some of the following reasons: Not sure camping on the top of a mountain in rainy season is the best idea; not sure camping in the middle of a recently war ravaged country is the best idea (does the term 'rebel army' and the implication of a zillion UN checkpoints mean anything to anyone??); not sure that Liberian search and rescue is up to the same par that it is in the US (but learned that some form of it does exist); not sure that my parents would appreciate me dying while doing something stupid. Or maybe we could just sum it up by saying I am getting old.
Therefore, in that moment of decision, a team was born. A team forged in the firey tension between adventure and stupidity. A team that has affectionately come to be known as "TEAM TURN-AROUND". Yes, there is a theme song. An unlikely, but incredible group of five individuals who I will now feel bonded to for life:) Team turn-around did indeed turn around and head back to the town of Ganta for the night, and enjoyed a relaxing day in town the next day, awaiting the return of team nimba. To our great relief, the thunderstorms from the night before had not touched them, and they all returned that evening with only minor injuries. When even the bravest of them reported that it had been "scary" I felt even more secure in my position on team turnaround:). With the knowledge that everyone was ok, the five of us jumped in a taxi sunday evening and made the six hour trek back to the ship, ready for a good shower. Wish I could share all the pics, but hope you enjoy a few of these:)!! Much love to all of you!

Signs of the Times!

2007-10-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

There are always actually too many things to write about, but one thing lots of people ask me about is what language people speak here in Liberia. There a lots of languages, but primarily people speak Liberian English. So it actually only makes things more amusing and not a little confusing when trying to communicate. We actually have translators on the ward, and at first I was unsure of why....well it did not take long to understand that while we are all speaking English, we often are NOT speaking the same language. As well, out in town, the signs are in English, but sometimes even the Liberians are not sure of what some of them are trying to communicate. My friend Amber, kindly shared her pictures with me, so you can see some of the funniest ones. My personal favorite: "Caring is Unrewarding" Posted above one of the doorways of a local hospital. We still haven't gotten an explaination on that one.....:) Enjoy!

Baby Joanna Went HOME!!

2007-10-11T05:57:00.000-07:00

Yeah...on Tuesday. The only day out of the last ten days that I have had off of work, and she was discharged! Geez. The nurses are always the last to know...:) But it is GOOD news, and I will hopefully see her again when she comes back to the ship for a check-up. Praise God for healing her and getting her off this ship...alive and with an ADORABLE new upper lip:) thank you for your prayers and I hope you enjoy these pics as much as I did!!! Before and after......

Before cleft lip repair......

And after.....

(her nurse really should have cleaned her nose better before this picture....um, that would be me:))

Thank yer, Seattle Children's Hospital....and a PRAYER REQUEST!!

2007-10-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

No, the 'yer' isn't a typo, just a joke I thought my friends in Seattle might appreciate. :) Yep, I still say it here, and people probably just think I am weird.
So this week has had a bit too much excitement, and there is nothing fancy about this blog entry, just a shameless plea for continued prayers for this particular situation. One of my patients that I cared for this past Tuesday was here on the ship for a cleft lip repair. She is an adorable little six month old, but very tiny...so she looks maybe three months old. She was fine as I cared for her Tuesday evening, so later that night when the emergency medical team was paged to the ward, I just about fell through the floor when I walked through the door to find the team in the midst of trying to resuscitate her. By God's grace, they were able to, however she earned herself a breathing tube, and has been in our ICU for the past three days. We don't have a lot of ICU nurses on board, and even fewer pediatric ICU nurses, and the last thing I would consider myself is an 'expert'....so on my first shift caring for her, it only took my ventilator alarming about three times for me to decide it was time for me to call home. It was about nine in the morning here, ...so probably around 2am at home. It was a huge sigh of relief to talk to my charge nurse Robin and the RT on that night, Lane, and they helped me talk through some things.. we don't have any respiratory therapists on board the ship. So every time I am caring for a ventilated patient here, I wish that I had paid more attention back at home!! But I am learning. All that to say, a big thank you to the PICU at CHRMC!! That may have been my first call for help, but it probably won't be my last:). I thank God for the team there and all their skills and knowledge. And I thank Him for satellite phones:).
So, as of today, little Joanna got her breathing tube taken out, and at this moment is doing amazingly well! Praise the Lord!!! The doctors are still unsure what caused the arrest, which makes everyone a little nervous for her little future. Please pray for Joanna, that God would strengthen her little body, bring her complete healing, and get her off this ship and back to her family SOON. Please also pray for her sweet mother, Rebekah, who has been by her side this whole time. It has been a very hard road for her. Thank you for your prayers and I will update you on this sweet little one!

Outside the Gates!

2007-10-02T05:17:00.000-07:00

Speaking of freedom....

Last weekend, I finally got to go visit an orphanage! With my work on the ship, time outside the gates is truly limited, but I relish it! I went with a group to Fatima orphanage last Saturday to play with the children. We didn't have a "program", just an agenda to enjoy our time....and WE DID! Suddenly wishing I was good at coming up with games and songs spur of the moment, I wished my mother was here with me! You're so good at that, mom!:) But they had some games of their own, and my confusion over how the games were to be played probably only added to the fun for them:).

"Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

AMEN!

A View from a Prison

2007-10-02T04:04:00.000-07:00

Imagine your life being shrunk down to the confines of a single building. Inside are hundreds of people with whom you eat, work, and sleep. Food is provided for you three times a day. You are assigned work duties, and you have free time. Everything you need to physically live is provided for you...a roof over your head, clothes, regular meals. Theoretically you could exist never going outside, but if you so desire, there is a half-mile stretch of road. Cement walls line the road, with barbed wire twisted across the top, and there you are free to walk....to the gate....and back again. Guards with guns stand watch at the wall.

As I walked down that road from the ship to the main gate the other day, I thought to myself: I bet this is what prison feels like.

On the days that I work, this floating dock and hospital are my world. On my days off, I head down that dirt road towards the gate....and freedom...from the stuffy confines of my protected life here. I feel the shackles drop off as I breathe in the humid air and step into the busy street teeming with people, honking taxi cabs, women carrying children on their backs and bundles on their heads, men pushing wheelbarrows, and children calling out to each other.

But it doesn't take much time or distance away from the "bars" of my own prison, that I realize I am looking into the country of Liberia through seemingly unbreakable "bars" of a different kind. Bars of hardship, of desperation, of need and sickness and lack. Bars of corruption, of destruction and constant reminders of war. Mine are bars of isolation, of dissatisfaction, of fear, and insecurity. Theirs are bars of poverty... Mine, of affluence.

How easy it is for one to be held captive. As my eyes are opened to my own prison walls, and as I have the privilege of meeting these beautiful people through the bars of their own, I become more and more convinced that the answers and solutions this world offers are desperately limited. I need something more. And I need to offer something more. I started this post a couple of days ago, and couldn't quite find the words to finish. I was a little overwhelmed, actually. How can a prisoner preach freedom? How can I, with chains of sin around me, offer hope to anyone else? But the Lord is good to shed light into those darker thoughts...and help me to see that perhaps no one can truly know freedom the way that a prisoner can.

There is a man in the Bible who found himself in a real prison because he testified regarding Jesus Christ. A true prisoner, and he wrote: "Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory." 2 Timothy 2:9-10

What a relief to read these words from this man. He knew what it was to be in prison. But he also held in his hands a precious key: God's word. "God's word is not chained." No matter what binds us, nothing can bind God. And in His word, we can find the key to set us free from the prisons that bind us. Then we can say along with Paul: "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."
Phil. 4:11-13

Praise God our freedom is not found in our circumstances--or many of us would not find it. The key to our freedom is found in Jesus--who is God's word. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be brudened again by a yoke of slavery." Gal.5:1

I don't want to live as a prisoner when I have been given a key. My prayer today is that I would have the courage to seek God, and in His Word find the truth offered to me by the One who was sent for this very purpose, "to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..." Isaiah 61:1

Let freedom ring!!:)

Return from the dark side.

2007-09-27T07:05:00.000-07:00

So, a nurse's schedule is never "normal"...and I should probably just let go of the dream that there will at any point in the near future be any rhyme or reason to my daily life:) ha! It just always eludes me. I am pretty much used to never knowing what day of the week it is. So I have just come off of a stretch of 5 night shifts, and tomorrow go back to working day shift. This day is my one chance to make a successful turn-around of the schedule, so I am avoiding the NAP at all costs! Thanks to those of you who prayed, as the first four of the five nights were QUIET...praise God! So I even had a little time to read and relax a bit. The last night we went out with a bang....Our maxillo-facial doctors are back in gear again, which means we will be having some more interesting nursing ahead of us in the coming weeks....major facial reconstructions, etc. I will try to find another video clip to add to the blog so you can imagine some of these things. It is pretty amazing. I thank God for my experience back at home in the PICU, as some of the things that come out from the OR would, back at home, definitely be cared for in the ICU...new tracheostomies, mouths sutured shut, all the facial reconstruction would at least land people in intensive care for observation for a couple days. Well, welcome to Africa, where after going to the recovery room for a couple of hours, these patients are just brought out to the ward, and cared for in a six patient assignment. Dr. Gary came into the ward the other night to check in on his patient that he had spent 8-plus hours operating on earlier that day and said "A little different from Seattle, isn't it?!" And I could only laugh in response. Yep.
Speaking of video clips, I need to brag for a moment about my friend who had her hand in making these amazing pieces for Mercy Ships....I mentioned my friend Kelly in a previous blog. She and I did our discipleship training school together eight years ago on board the Anastasis, and now here we are, after all these years reunited on board the Africa Mercy. Kelly works in the communications department, and spends much of her time doing filming, editing, and putting together these beautiful portrayals of some of the stories within this ministry. I think she is a genius and think more people should see her work!! She so kindly helped me learn how to attach the video clips to my blog, so I will try to get more on here!! Thanks, Kelly!! Hope you all enjoy these as much as I have! I added one below to my previous blog on the fistula patients, so check it out if you get a chance! Hope you are all well and I look forward to getting caught up a bit with you all now that I am back to a daylight schedule:). Blessings~

Mercy's On Its Way

2007-09-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

Everything Happens for a Reason....

2007-09-19T09:02:00.000-07:00

No it doesn't. This phrase, 'everything happens for a reason,' is one that I cannot stand. I don't believe it to be true, and each time I hear someone say it, it grates me inside.

Last night, I sat in our ship lounge and watched the second video in a three part series they are doing on the civil war that occurred here in Liberia. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing as I watched atrocities that occurred on the very streets I have been walking on for the last couple of weeks. I wept seeing children injured and killed, placed in mass graves with dozens of others...all innocent victims of senseless acts of violence and war. The Liberian civil war was one fueled by greed and power, as corrupt leaders led their own people down a path that destroyed lives and the once-prosperous state of their country. I can't say this happened for a reason. I can't say that innocent people died for a reason. That children starved for a reason. That women and young girls were raped for a reason. That young boys were given guns and sent to kill their own people for a reason.

I can't stand this phrase, because there are some things that are NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN. And saying that everything happens for a reason undermines that some things are evil, wrong, senseless, and devastating.

When Jesus talked to His disciples, He said to them, "In this world you will have trouble....". His next sentence was not: "But take heart! Everything happens for a reason." Rather, the next statement out of His mouth was: "...take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:32-33)
There are things that happen on this earth that occur for no other reason than the fact that we live in a fallen world, and we all sin and are capable of great evil.

While I cannot find solace in assuring myself that all that touches my life has touched it for a reason, I am not without hope. Though we live in a world plagued with sin, God has not simply abandoned us here to be victims of its consequences. His gifts to us are countless, but two come to mind at this moment. First, He offers us salvation. Not necessarily an immediate deliverance from the pain and suffering of this life, but rather the truth that He has won the ultimate victory over sin. I have hope knowing that because Jesus paid the price of his own life, we have access to an Eternity with Him...FREE from sin and suffering and death. It is a hope in something yet to come.

And second, He offers us His presence with us and this precious promise:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose....Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28, 35-39

So as my heart aches for these people and the evil that they have lived through, my prayer for them is that they would find a place for hope: that they would know Jesus as the Savior that He is, and that they would know Him to be present even in the midst of all that has happened in this place. Please pray for them with me.

Mourning....

2007-09-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

into DANCING! Literally:).

Last week, I was walking up the road from the port out to the gate to the main road and I recognized a short roundy Liberian woman. She was the mother of one of the adult patients that I had cared for in the ICU and so I called out to her. She turned around and a huge smile broke out on her face. I went to hug this woman, who is no more than around five feet tall, and when I did, she completely lifted me off the ground in a hug of joy! I couldn't help but laugh out loud! I hope she didn't hurt herself.

Apparently it is not too common for there to be patients in the Intensive Care Unit on board. So when we landed not one, but TWO patients in the ICU the week that I arrived, everyone was shocked. And even more strange was the fact that both were dental patients. They had been seen in clinic by the dental team, and were found to have terrible dental abscesses, to the extent that their airways were terribly compromised. Just days apart from each other, they were brought to the ICU and had breathing tubes placed in order to ensure they were able to adequately breathe. The first day I cared for Grace in the ICU, her mother came into see her. Upon her admission, Grace was desperately ill, fevers spiking up to 105 degrees, her blood pressure drooping. As her mother came in to see her, grief etched itself in the lines on her face, and she clutched at her chest as though someone had just stolen her very heart from her.

And then she did something so beautiful. She came and stood beside her daughter's bed, and lifted her arms up in a prayer. She cried out for God to hear her daughter. "Do this for me, O God! Do this for me!" Her plea and the cry from her heart moved me, and I too, prayed a silent prayer of mercy.

Grace's condition made a drastic turn, and while the doctors initially determined she ought to be a 'do not resuscitate' status, she was soon off pressors, and ready to have the breathing tube taken out. The most appropriate description of the situation could only be: miraculous. The next time Grace's mother came to the ship, she walked into the ICU to find her daughter sitting up in bed, awake, and doing her best to talk with a still very swollen jaw. From the woman who had been grief-stricken over her ill daughter, now came shouts of JOY and she literally started to dance around the room. She ran to me and hugged me, and shook her little backside, and then on to the next nurse...joy erupted from her and praise for God's healing flowed from her! She didn't stop, she just kept on dancing....right out the door of the ICU. The translator accompaning her was laughing, and then with a shrug of her shoulders, joined with her and danced out of the room after her!

There is a kind of laughter that I have experienced here that I wish I could capture with words. It is of a different quality and essence. It is a laughter of deep joy, and surprise, and appreciation....a laughter that in some way is a recognition that God has gone out of His way to do something wonderful. This mother laughed and danced...because God had done something wonderful for her. And she was filled with joy.

"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.'

The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with Joy...

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow,

will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."

Psalm 126

It's a lot of rain.

2007-09-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

The title to this blog is a line from one of the African songs that we sing along with our patients on the ward. And it is a fitting title for this day, as I can look out the window and watch the water streaming down the windows and shooting out of the gutters of the ship! It is pouring!! My plans for the afternoon have been washed out--literally--and so I am taking that as my cue that this may be the day to stay inside and appreciate the chance to once again touch base and catch up with my thoughts and with all of you that I love so much:).
This last week has held more adventures, as I continue to get familiar with caring for patients on this floating hospital, as I continue to figure out my way around the ship, and have had the chance to venture out to explore a little more of this country that we are here to serve and learn from. When I first arrived to the ship, I heard someone joke that they spend their weekends in Africa! I now know what they were talking about, as we, living on the mercy ship, ported in Monrovia seem to be a little world unto ourselves at times. The reality that those of us on the ship are currently living in better conditions than anyone in this war-ravaged country is a sobering one. It certainly raises more questions than it does answers, and quiets me when I find myself frustrated or feeling cramped by the closeness of community in this place.
This last week was much lighter on the working end of things than my first week here was. I had last Tuesday and Wednesday off, and took advantage to go to the market and explore a bit. People are friendly and welcoming, yet I still find going out to be quite the exhausting experience and adventure! So, I have found small doses to be best:). The markets are crowded and busy, the streets and drivers crazy, and the smells....well....abundant!:) I made a purchase of some purple material and took it to a tailor just across the street from the port. Soon I will have my first Liberian dress! I am very excited. People here wear all kinds of different things...from more traditionally African looking dresses (like the pictures from the dress ceremony) to very western looking clothing. There are many different tribes of people in Liberia, and I have not been able to figure out if a certain style or look is more common of a certain people group, or if it is simply more a matter of preference and social status. I'll have to get back to you on that one.
Thursday and Friday I was back to work again, and had the joy of seeing both the ICU patients that I had cared for upon my arrival, make the transition from the ICU to the ward! Praise God for their healing. I am still learning and seeing new things each time I work, but all in all the actual nursing care is much more basic than anything I am accustomed to back at home, leaving more time to interact with and get to know the patients some. Of course some days can be crazy, but isn't that just the way it goes??
Saturday, I got to tag along with the eye team as they went to a clinic opening in a town nearby. It was the completion of a project that had been underway prior to the ship coming to Monrovia. Mercy Ships simply came alongside this community in their efforts to make a vision they had a reality, and saturday the doors to this dreamed of clinic opened! It will be staffed and run by the Liberians; we were simply there for the opening, introducing the community to this new resource and providing a health fair of sorts. It was exciting to see some of the work occurring off the ship that will be an ongoing sustainable resource to people in the future.
Sunday I had the privilege of going to my first church service since I arrived! I will be working every other weekend, but I look forward to being able to attend church on my weekends off. It far exceeded all my expectations....I went to an amazingly worshipful joyfilled church, held just a few miles from where we are ported, in a thatched roof building with a cement floor. Their singing just about lifted the roof off that little room a couple of times, and you couldn't help but dance right along with the people as they sang and worshipped God. It was a privilege to worship with them, and I caught myself tearing up just with gratefulness to God for letting me be here. It is amazing when we finally let the Lord lead us....He takes us places we never knew we wanted to go, and upon arriving there, we can't think of anywhere else in the world we would rather be. Praying today that you are finding yourselves in such a place.
Much love to all of you!

A Garment of PRAISE!

2007-09-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

I have yet to bear a child, but my assessment of the birthing process can be summed up with one word: PAINFUL!

Yet for all the pain of childbirth, it is the joy that follows that eases a mother's physical discomfort, and sustains her through her healing process that follows. Yet, here in Liberia, as in many places in the world that lack available medical care, there is not joy that follows a woman's labor. All too often women endure the agony of prolonged labor during childbirth, and with it, the damaging effects of sustained pressure on their birth canal. If they themselves survive, it is not to enter into the joy of a new life, but to bear the pain of life lost. The child inside them is gone, and their torn bodies now serve as a constant reminder of a hope and a life they almost had. Instead of joy they now live with shame, as these injuries sustained now cause them to constantly leak urine. All too often they are rejected by their husbands and their communities.

Perhaps this is what grabs at my heart and makes me ache for these dear women: what was meant to be a labor resulting in joy, becomes a labor resulting in shame. What could be more painful?

Of the various surgeries and ailments that I have seen in just my short amount of time here, this is one population of patients in particular that touches a place deep in my heart. In the last several years, surgeons on board the ship have begun treating women who have sustained injuries during childbirth that now cause them to constantly leak urine or feces. They have sustained pressure sores inside their bodies, causing a breakdown between the birth canal and their urethra, and sometimes to their rectum. The surgeons on board the ship seek to close up these areas inside the women and stop this constant leaking....sometimes it is successful. Sadly, sometimes it is not.

My second day on the ship, I had the privilege of attending a 'dress ceremony'. Before these women are discharged from the hospital to go back home, they have a celebration. Each woman is given a new dress and some jewelry. They have their makeup done for them. While all the patients that are able gather together in one of the wards, the women come down the hall singing, and join with the others rejoicing and praising God for what He has done for them. Each woman is given a chance to share, to thank God, to express her heart. Through these surgeries, God has brought to many women healing and restoration....not just of their physical bodies, but of their hearts as well.

A dear friend reminded me once that God often uses the physical to explain the spiritual. This is one such case where the picture is worth a thousand words. Just as these women have experienced the binding up of their wounds, we have a God who promises to bind up ours. Just as they have been given new clothes, our God promises a new covering over us as well. It is my hope and prayer that as these women rejoice in the healing they have received, that they would be rejoicing in the One who Heals them. The words of Isaiah regarding the Lord come quickly to mind:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedome for the captives...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair....Instead of thier shame my people will receive a DOUBLE PORTION in their land, and EVERLASTING JOY will be theirs...."

Isaiah 61:1-3,7

Rockin' on....

2007-09-11T06:08:00.000-07:00

As I sit here in the internet cafe on board the ship, I am more aware of the constant movement of my new home for the next three months!:) Back and forth, back and forth. I have had 'sea legs' from a day out on my family's boat before, but this experience of living on a ship will give the term new meaning!
Whew! It is hard to believe a whole week has gone by already, and with it the passage of many emotions inside of me as I adjust to this place...from initial jet-lag...to feeling extrememly overwhelmed, lonely and admittedly fearful...to the other end of the spectrum...of feeling a depth of joy and peace and comfort from my God and from Him giving me eyes to see Him here and a glimpse of what these next months are sure to hold. So as I sit here now, and reflect on this past week, I am thankful and amazed at how much God has done in just the span of several days.
So I will sum up briefly the past week, and then will try to follow with a couple of stories to give you a glimpse of what this last week has been like! We started out right away on monday with much general ship orientation and much time was spent with our nurse manager as she gave us new comers the low-down on our new jobs that we would be starting. Tuesday I was able to catch up on a little of the jet lag in the morning (zzzzzz.....), and then actually set foot on Liberian ground later that afternoon as I headed into town with my friend Kelly, who I know from eight years ago when we did our Discipleship training school together on board the Anastasis, the retired mercy ship. Wednesday was my first day of work......and that has been the story ever since:). Those who know me well know that six days of work in a row for this nurse is unheard of!!:) But as I have said to some friends, I believe this was all God's good grace to throw me in there and help me to get acquainted quickly!! There is still MUCH to learn, but putting in a big week to kick things off proved to help me a LOT, and far from my initial fear and hesitation, I now feel anticipation, excitement, and thankfulness for the work God has brought me to do here. After two days of orientation on the wards, I was meant to be working on my own last friday, when I arrived to find my assignment for the day to be in the ICU, for which I had not been oriented at all!! To my great relief, the ICU manager did not intend to leave me alone in an unfamiliar unit, and graciously stayed my entire shift with me, helping to get me oriented to different machines, equipment, medicines, and charting....After a couple of days on the ward, I strangely found myself to be more comfortable and at 'home' feeling in the ship's small Intensive Care Unit:) I laughed at God's sense of humor, as I am not sure I ever could have said the ICU at home has ever given me a sense of comfort:) haha! But I found it to be a piece of familiarity and was surprised in a good way to see how the Lord has prepared me in the last five years to now be doing what I will be doing here for this time. So I was privileged to work the weekend in the ICU, and then spent yesterday working on the ward for my final shift. Not completely recovered from my jet lag...my head hit the pillow EARLY last night, and I think I slept for a solid 10 hours! :)
Now I have my first official 'day off' and have been eager to catch up...in terms of rest, of reflecting on what this week has held, and on communicating with all of you. Thank you for your emails, your encouragement, and your notes that were sent along with me. God has BLESSED me through your friendships and I am thankful. So if you are interested in some stories from the first week here...read on:). Much love to all of you.

Liberia.....the far side of the sea....

2007-09-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

here I am!!....well the long-awaited adventure has begun:). i am happy and Thankful to finally be HERE on board the Africa Mercy after many many hours on airplanes and in airports. and unbelievably things went as smoothly as possible on my journey here...i think i can say many prayers were answered (thank you for praying)!!!
a couple fun things from the trip over...
i was able to meet up with some other nurses traveling to Mercy Ships on my final flight into monrovia! a couple of girls from Holland...which was great, not only that, but the chief medical officer, Dr. Gary Parker (who has been on Mercy Ships for more than 20 years) and his family were also on board the flight. They are so kind and made the entrance to Liberia a little less stressful as we followed their lead through customs,etc! And as if that were not enough, on board our airplane was none other than the PRESIDENT of Liberia!!! She did a little walk about the plane, stopping at my new friends sitting in front of me, greeted them and thanked them for coming to Liberia!! HA!! How about that for a welcome to this country?!
I do confess after 30 some hours of traveling and arriving at a large ship in the dark and settling my belongings into a room about the size of a college dorm room with four people permanently living in it...i did have to think to myself .....WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING?!?!?! but.....as usual, the morning brought with it new perspective, and God's promise that His mercies are NEW every morning. I have found a couple of friends from past mercy ships adventures on board, and have begun the process of making some new friends as i meet some wonderful people from around the world. today has been much orientation that will continue this week...i will have my first day orienting on the ward with patients on wednesday, and am really looking forward to it.
Before I left, my mom read me a verse at my going away party from psalm 139... 'if I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.' When I arrived last night, there couldn't be a better description for how i felt....most certainly on the FAR side of the sea. What a great promise and reminder that I have been clinging to, and know to be true. God's hand is holding me, and I am doing my best to cling to Him!
One thing is certain...many adventures lie in the months ahead. Thank you for your prayers! I love you all and will try to be in touch via the blog....still not sure what is realistic for how much/ how often I will be able to write, but I will do my best:) Thinking of you all with much thankfulness!!

Toss Me!!

2007-08-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

We really have a lot to learn from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

:). OK, so some of my closer friends are aware of my (small) obsession with the Lord of the Rings (LOTR). A particular scene keeps coming to mind, and so I feel I must write about it. For those who share my appreciation of these films (no, I am not a big enough fan to have read the books), you may recall the scene when the humans, dwarfs, and elves (the good guys) have all fled to Helm's deep, and have positioned themselves to defend this fortress from the imminent attack of the orgs (the bad guys). The orgs march on Helm's deep, and the battle breaks forth! By sheer numbers, the good guys don't stand a chance, but they fight as if they do. In this scene, one of the main characters, a dwarf named Gimli, is among those defending the wall. The only problem is, he is too short to see over the wall to the battle raging below. He keeps asking his human friend, Aragorn, what is going on. After awhile, his eagerness and frustration mounting, Gimli say to Aragorn, "Toss me!" A look of surprise crosses Aragorn's face, and then a smile..."Toss you?" he repeats in amusement. Gimli nods affirmatively. An unspoken understanding between the two warriors reflects in their expressions, as Aragorn honors his friend's request, hoists him up, and tosses him--right into the midst of the battle below.

Every day we step outside and into the midst of a raging battle. A battle that, like it or not, will continue until Jesus returns, and takes His rightful place as Lord on earth. But until that time, there will be suffering, there will be poverty, there will be trials and wars and hardships. And these things will exist regardless of whether we choose to acknowledge them or not. So I like this scene from LOTR. Because in this battle, Gimli could have stayed where he couldn't see. He could have chosen not to engage. But he didn't. Rather, he requested to be "tossed" right into the heart of it because he knew what they were fighting for and he knew he wanted to be a part of it. And I love Aragorn's response--that of a true friend as well as a fellow warrior....he picked his friend up, and indeed "tossed" him, and each of them continued fighting valiantly!

The Bible is full of stories of people that God "tossed", so to speak. People who were thrown into the heart of a particular battle or story or situation. Abraham gets "tossed" and he doesn't know where God is even sending him. Moses gets "tossed" into a battle to lead the Israelites out from bondage in Egypt. Jonah gets "tossed" from a whale's stomach up onto shore, and into obedience to go to Nineveh.....the list goes on and on.

Ultimately we know that Jesus Christ has conquered sin and death through his own death on the cross. However, the story of His followers on earth still continues until His return. There is work to be done, and by His grace, He invites us to be a part of His Story. So, it is my hope that in this season of my life, and in the ones to follow, my request of the Lord would be one like Gimli's..."toss me." And that as I stand in faith with my friends and family, that I would be to them an Aragorn...one who lifts them up and helps them engage fully in the work God is drawing them to.

"The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." Matt 9:37-38

"For though we live in this world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds." 2 Cor. 10:3-4

One month countdown....

2007-07-31T15:37:00.000-07:00

Wow! It is August already! And for me, this marks the one-month countdown for my departure to Liberia to serve with Mercy Ships! I want to give a shout-out to my friend Bradd for setting up this blog for me....I happen to be a prolific journaler...however, I lack even an ounce of technical savvy, so trying to figure out this blog deal was a little daunting. Thanks for helping a sister out. I'll try to post a couple entries at least, and hopefully some pictures before I leave so I can get the hang of this. So my disclaimer is: anything before September 1st is blogging practice for me. Feel free to read for your own entertainment!

I have had many people ask me how I am feeling as the departure date approaches. My response: EXCITED. Yes, I am thrilled at this opportunity God is giving me and am enjoying the process of preparing to go. I am so blessed by my dear family and friends who are all sharing in this experience, and who are allowing me the privilege of walking alongside them in their passions and callings as well. This is an exciting season right now! Thank you for your place in it all!

Here is my specific timeline for the next several months:
Sept 1: Depart from Seattle
Sept 2: Arrive in Monrovia, Liberia, travel to Mercy Ship
Sept 3: remainder of week, settling in, orienting to nursing position on board
Sept, Oct, Nov: work as pediatric ICU nurse on board ship
Dec 1: Set sail for the Canary Islands (not sure how long this sail is)
Dec 11: Depart Canary Islands
Dec 13: Arrive in Seoul, S.Korea
Dec 13-28: spend time with Julie and Dave (sister and bro-in-law)'s family for Christmas
Dec 28: Fly home to Seattle!